Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
