I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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