i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
