I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
