So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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