guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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