Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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