I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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