she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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