i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
