He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
