her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
