I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
