The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
