Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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