spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER