You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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