i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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