bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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