My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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