Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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