I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Vodka?
Forever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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