suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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