There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
