porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
