i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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