Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
