just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
