This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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