In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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