SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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