You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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