Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well I just put wine in my tea
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
