I am in a vortex of obligation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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