I cockslap morals
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
