i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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