just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
