So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
