Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize