Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
