Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
