so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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