I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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