also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
