You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
did you just send me my own nude
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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