the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
