Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
