i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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