This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
