Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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