I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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