This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Found your dick twin last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
