Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
