I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
