My first STD was from a foam party
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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