We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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