woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
