If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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