Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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