Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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