Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
