Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
These tits shall not be calmed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
