Need sex. Gaining weight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
