So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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